Yesterday I was greeted in the morning with a huge disappointment. It wasn't unexpected, but our hope was to be able to avoid some additional training and so be on the field sooner. As I had my quiet time later that morning I did my fair share of arguing with the Lord and in His great wisdom He decided to teach me a thing or two...
I am currently working through the study, "Believing God", by Beth Moore. The first week is a study on motivations for living and active life of faith. I was on day 5 and we had studied five motivations for living a life of active faith that the scriptures teach us - that day we were blessed to finally learn "HOW" to achieve an active and growing faith life. We talked about things such as reading and listening to the Word, asking God to increase our faith and confessing our unbelief. Lastly, she stated that to grow in our faith we need to 'practice' faith. We need to feed on God's faithfulness. To walk in a way that continually looks to the faithfulness of God in the past, for our today and his promises for our future.
One thing He impressed upon me was that I was not trusting Him for my future. I did not believe that He knew better than I. I realized that I needed to confess my unbelief and trust God for my future. I also needed to take a look at my past and remember the faithfulness of Him who called me to serve Him. I needed to remember that often times He uses other people to get us where He wants us to be. We don't have to understand - we just need to be obedient.
I don't know why our training time is extended. God knows. I don't know why I will be sent to a different city, in a different country to meet new people and develop new relationships. But I think back to the ministry of Paul and his missionary journeys. He knew where he would end up, but he never knew exactly what path God would lead him on to get there. He too had developed many close friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord whom he had to say good bye to. He wrote them letters and encouraged them as they grew in their faith. Some times he was able to return to them and encourage them in their work. Other times he knew he would never see them again.
Yesterday I felt tired. I didn't know if I would be able to continue on. (Now what kind of missionary is this you say?). Today - I am refreshed. I am refreshed because I have relinquished control of my life back to God. I am His sheep - He is my Shepherd. He loves me and cares deeply for me. I can trust Him for tomorrow.
The Lord laid Psalm 100 upon my heart this morning:
"Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands! Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. Know that the Lord; He is God. It is He who has made you, and not we ourselves. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations."
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