Need to Express!

     So, I'm sitting here this morning with a list of things to do, mixed messages in my heart and precious time with Jesus spent...I suddenly realize I have not "blogged" in almost a year!  Hoping that my expression of words will help me make decisions - help me conquer fears - help me along my path to being what God called me to be.

     Hebrews 5:8 "though He (Jesus) was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered."

     Don't get me wrong - I am not by any means "suffering" in the typical ways one would think a person living internationally might suffer (although when it's 101* under the fan in the house it's a bit of a shocker).  It's the inner me - the heart that fears.  Fear of failure.  Fear of driving.  Fear of loneliness.  More than anything - fear of not pleasing God.  And sometimes this fear just paralyzes me.  The outcome:  nothingness...unproductive...unuseful

     Jesus, as the example, learned obedience through his suffering.  We do tend to think of the physical suffering that Jesus endured as the suffering Paul was referring to.  But - maybe Jesus had some fear in His heart as well? Maybe, being 100% man He feared having the strength to go to the Cross?  Maybe, the loneliness that enveloped Him in the Garden was not unusual? What about the constant crowds...we seem to hear often that he was disturbed during His times of rest.  More than anything, what if his "suffering" didn't make a difference?

     However, acting in obedience his suffering did make a difference! Verse 9 goes on to say "and having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him..."  We have salvation because of his humanity - his fear, yet his willingness.  With Him as my example, I am called to overcome my fears and the personal desires of my heart to be what God called me to be.  Walking in obedience might produce loneliness...but I need not fear the reprimands of God.  Walking in obedience I will not fail because I will be leaning on Him. Walking in obedience my life will make a difference.

     One problem still remains...driving.  Even Jesus rode a colt and not a horse...maybe a bicycle will have to do?

Sugar

Upon arriving in Thailand in 1993, we were immediately faced with the process of "hiring" a household helper.  We had no idea how we would go about figuring out who would be right for us, but our mentors had already been about the task of finding available girls to fulfill the task.  Interview day arrived so Rob and I gathered together with Dolores and our applicant - Namthan (Sugar) and begin the process of "interviewing".  The questions went something like this - keep in mind that all questions and responses were done through translation:  "Have you ever worked cleaning houses before?"  No ma'am.  My friend has told me what she does and I feel like I am up to the task.  "Do you speak any English?"  No ma'am."How old are you?"  18.  How long have you been in Bangkok?  "about one month".  Have you ever taken care of children?  "I have a younger brother".  

As you can see - all and all we did not have much to go by.  No references.  No job experience.  No English or cooking skills. But she had such a 'sweet' spirit and as we spoke the Lord spoke to me as clearly as anything that we were to choose "Sugar" to come to work in our home.  She would live with us in a special helper's quarters.  She would clean, do laundry, cook and take care of the children when necessary.  All this for less than $100/month.

We were blessed to be housed in a duplex above another family whose helper was very experienced.  She was an amazing cook and was very willing to train Namthan.  Namthan was a fast learner and a hard worker.  I realized quickly that she watched our family closely.  One day she asked to speak with us and stated that her brother was going to be ordained as a monk and asked if we could help to contribute towards the celebration of his ordination?  With the help of our pastor friend we explained that because we worshiped the God of the Bible we were not able to support the rituals of Buddhism.  Shortly after that her cousin visited at the house and gifted us with some tracts on Buddhist meditation.  We found this to be an excellent opportunity to share some tracts and Bibles with the girls. 

From that day on, for the next month, whenever Namthan had a break in her job responsibilities she could be seen sitting on Anna's little stool and reading one of the tracts or her Bible.  Our Thai skills were still so limited we could not speak to her clearly about our faith, but were grateful for these tools to be in her own heart language. 

One night I was home alone and she came to me and stated that she had decided to follow Christ.  I was so astounded! How could someone lead themselves to the Lord!  After all, isn't that our job?  She had the written tools to lead her to Christ (including God's Word), but we had never been able to share clearly with her.  I sat down with her and a side by side Thai-English Bible and went through scriptures related to sin and God's love for her.  About how she could have forgiveness and eternal life.  She let me know that she understood and that she was so excited about her decision to follow Jesus that she had already told her family!

The first year while we were in Bangkok she grew very slowly.  We found that the social class stigmas were very difficult for a girl who came from up-country even among the local Believers.  About a year later we felt the Lord leading us to Pattaya and wanted Namthan to come with us.  She was so afraid - the reputation of the city was so bad and her family did not want her to live there.  However, after going for a visit and seeing the location of our home she decided to move with us.  In Pattaya we found a place that was very open and accepting of "everyone".  The local Believers reached out to her, took her in and raised her up to understand that she was created to serve God.  She was in regular Bible study and soon began teaching children, leading worship and doing her part to maintain the worship center and reach out to other women.  

Soon after we left Thailand, Namthan was introduced to a young man whom she grew to love.  They married and she moved to Chiang Mai where she continues to work as a housekeeper for the ministry office, but more important she continues to serve in her church by teaching and evangelizing.  Our last visit together she was planning a mission trip to Nepal with a group of women.  Her most recent ministry is to be involved in church planting by starting a house church in a Karen village.  She plans to go to her own hometown and begin a house church there next year.  

When I look back regarding the relationship we had with this young woman a few things stand out to me:

1.  It's not always about being qualified for the task.

     A.  Nothing about Namthan's past had qualified her for the task of being a housekeeper or a nanny.  Her qualification came through the Lord's choosing to place her in our home and our being obedient to overlook all that disqualified her for the task.

     B.  Nothing about our past qualified us to lead Namthan to Christ.  Namthan alone was able to respond to the Spirit's yearning in her heart.  She observed a family who loved one another.  She observed a family who loved God.  She observed a family who loved others.  To her this was right.

2.  It is ALWAYS about being faithful to the call and leadership of God in our lives.

        The Holy Spirit spoke to us that January day and clearly told us Namthan should come to live and work with us.  We clearly felt that she should stay with us when we moved to Pattaya - the Lord got a hold of her life in a big way.  She has grown into an amazing wife, mother and woman of God.

Shortly after beginning this post, about a month ago, I found out that Namthan had been in the hospital for about a month for a terrible infection following a pulled tooth.  She had been sick for months and is fortunate to be alive.  I praise God for her restored health as she was released from the hospital last week.  I look forward to spending quality time with her and her family after we arrive in Thailand.  I am so proud to be known as "Grandma" Lori to her son, Sadudii "Psalms".  He is taking after his mama singing songs of praise to his God - and taking after "Grandpa" Rob by eating lots of yummy ice cream.

Blessings,

Lori

     

"Missionary School"

Most of us are acquainted with terms such as "orientation" and "cross-cultural training", but the children I worked with could never understand what these terms meant, so we have chosen to use the plain old term, "Missionary School" where we find ourselves right now.  One might ask, "What is Missionary School anyway?" and we would respond, "A place where we learn all the ins and outs of becoming a missionary."  After waiting around for months for this time to come we find ourselves rising every day at 6:00 am to get to breakfast at 7 and class at 8.  We finish at 3:00 when we get in our 30-60 minutes of exercise and a little quiet time with the Lord before dinner at 5 pm.  Then it's "free time" to get our homework done - assignments such as scavenger hunts, medical form updates and reading assignments.  We learn how to bravely prepare for numerous immunizations and become part of a team with jobs such as mail room volunteers, administration assistants, facilities set up (a good job for future church planters) and prayer coordinators.  We are living "in community" with other "units" which are comprised of singles, young marrieds, old marrieds (us) and marrieds with kids.

We are supposed to be watching our weight, exercising regularly and getting plenty of rest.  It looks more like - 3 huge meals each day, sitting in class for 7 hours each day and fitting in sleep when possible.  Yesterday we learned we have to run the mile!  Are you kidding!  I couldn't run the mile when I was 12, let alone 52!  We were given a hint that we should make sure we don't run too fast for this mile run because we will have to run again at the end to see our improvement!  She mentioned that progress is difficult because of all the food and sitting!  Really, I say all of this in fun - even though it is true.  We shall overcome and endure to the end!  We are two days in and only...hmmm...50 days to go!

I plan on staying up to date as "journaling" is also one of our assignments.  I figured this could pass for journaling.

What has God taught me so far?  A little patience.  He is still refining me.  "The job of the sent one is to proclaim salvation to the lost who have not heard."   A new vision for evangelism...I can't wait to share my story with you next week.

To close - "Then He appointed twelve of them and called them his apostles. They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach"  Mark 3:14 NLT  

I love you all!

Disappointment to Contentment...

     Yesterday I was greeted in the morning with a huge disappointment.  It wasn't unexpected, but our hope was to be able to avoid some additional training and so be on the field sooner.  As I had my quiet time later that morning I did my fair share of arguing with the Lord and in His great wisdom He decided to teach me a thing or two...

     I am currently working through the study, "Believing God", by Beth Moore.  The first week is a study on motivations for living and active life of faith.  I was on day 5 and we had studied five motivations for living a life of active faith that the scriptures teach us - that day we were blessed to finally learn "HOW" to achieve an active and growing faith life.  We talked about things such as reading and listening to the Word, asking God to increase our faith and confessing our unbelief.  Lastly, she stated that to grow in our faith we need to 'practice' faith.  We need to feed on God's faithfulness.  To walk in a way that continually looks to the faithfulness of God in the past, for our today and his promises for our future.

     One thing He impressed upon me was that I was not trusting Him for my future.  I did not believe that He knew better than I.  I realized that I needed to confess my unbelief and trust God for my future.  I also needed to take a look at my past and remember the faithfulness of Him who called me to serve Him.  I needed to remember that often times He uses other people to get us where He wants us to be.  We don't have to understand - we just need to be obedient.

     I don't know why our training time is extended.  God knows.  I don't know why I will be sent to a different city, in a different country to meet new people and develop new relationships.  But I think back to the ministry of Paul and his missionary journeys.  He knew where he would end up, but he never knew exactly what path God would lead him on to get there.  He too had developed many close friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord whom he had to say good bye to.  He wrote them letters and encouraged them as they grew in their faith.  Some times he was able to return to them and encourage them in their work.  Other times he knew he would never see them again.

     Yesterday I felt tired.  I didn't know if I would be able to continue on. (Now what kind of missionary is this you say?).  Today - I am refreshed.  I am refreshed because I have relinquished control of my life back to God.  I am His sheep - He is my Shepherd.  He loves me and cares deeply for me.  I can trust Him for tomorrow.

     The Lord laid Psalm 100 upon my heart this morning:

"Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands!  Serve the Lord with gladness;  Come before His presence with singing.  Know that the Lord; He is God.  It is He who has made you, and not we ourselves.  We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise.  Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations."

Hot, hotter, hottest...

Here in the Pacific Northwest we have experienced some interesting weather lately.  Just yesterday we were driving outside the city and noticed SNOW in the foothills.  Rob mentioned how beautiful it was - I quickly stated, "that's beautiful in November, December, January, February and maybe even the beginning of March - but today it's not beautiful".  Not long after that we noticed a man driving his convertible down the freeway with his top down!  Within moments the clouds opened up and it was pouring!  Who does that!?! Maybe he thought, "If I want it bad enough and have faith the sun will shine"?  Needless to say, he quickly found an overpass to park under and put his top up.  Today the sun is shining beautifully, but the house behind us has frost on it's roof. The trees are blossoming and the daffodils have sprouted and bloomed - a miracle after all this Northwest spring rain!

In Thailand it is said that there are three seasons - hot, hotter and hottest.  They are in the middle of "hottest" right now and coming upon the time of the Thai New Year celebration of Song Krang.  Mango's and sticky rice are the stars of the season!  This will be followed by "Hotter" which will also usher in the rain - badly needed for all that jasmine rice you love - but in too great of quantities everything is ruined.  That was last year - I'm sure you heard about it.  The rain didn't stop for months it seemed.  You've noticed the higher prices on electronics?  That's why.  When November comes around we can count on temps cooling and changing into what is known as the "hot" season.  We were blessed our first year living there when we woke up on Christmas morning and had to turn the fans off and put our sweats on.  It was 68 degrees (at least for the morning). I believe it was the coolest day we had in our area of the country the entire 4 years we lived there.

For the most part we have faith that the seasons will come and change on queue.  We know when the trees will blossom - when they will get their leaves and when the leaves will fall - leaving dry and barren branches for the winter with hope for spring to arrive and start the process again.  Then a strange thing happens, snow falls in April or the rain, which normally falls for an hour and then stops, continues for days and we find ourselves in a bit of despair.  We begin to question why? Some may chalk it up to "global warming", others may say "it's signs of the end of days and Christ's return"?  God just wants us to know that it's His small way of making Himself known.  In the midst of the snow - cherry blossoms and daffodils.  In the midst of the rain - love and charity for those who are hurting and opportunities for Thai believers to minister in the name of the One True God.

Tomorrow we celebrate Easter! Jesus was crucified, died and was buried.  He was separated from His Father for the first time ever to be the only worthy and final blood sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sins.  Not a normal Passover for those who had traveled to Jerusalem for the feast and celebration - but we know that nothing would ever be "normal" for them again, because we know without a doubt that Jesus conquered that grave, rose from the dead and is even now sitting at the right hand of God the Father Almighty!

When all else seems strange and unsure...God is faithful.  "So let us draw near (to God) with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."  Hebrews 10:22-23  (parenthesis mine)

Are your kids going with you...

In 1992, one of the most common questions we were asked was, "are your kids going with you?"  We would grin on the outside and roll over in laughter on the inside as we thought, "who else would want them?"  No, really, we love them very much and as Christian parents we are fully aware of the blessing of children and the responsibility we have to "raise them up in the fear of the Lord".  So, of course, the children went to Thailand with us.

They were amazing missionary kids (or kids who are missionaries as my son once said).  They allowed people to touch their blonde hair and feel their white skin.  They did their best to eat strange foods like pigs ears, pigs blood and many strange "green" vegetables.  They slept on hard floors and in hot, hot rooms.  We had to teach them that they must be prepared to be disappointed because you never knew for sure if the water park we were going to was actually going to be open that day, or the movie would actually be showing (in English).  On Sundays they were immersed in church for almost an entire day and mostly in a language they did not understand - but they were little troopers.  When we were in town we had to contend with prostitutes who wanted to dote on them and the transvestites who were always friendly and they had to decide whether that lady was a girl or a guy.

On the upside - they had a "helper" who made their beds and cleaned their rooms for them every day (even when their mom said please do not do it).  They were done with school by noon every day and had the remainder of the day to play.  They lived in a world of continual sunshine and across the street from the beach.  McDonald's delivered to our house and the ice cream man came every day.

Well, they are now raised and people continue to ask the question, "what will your kids do?"  Well, our "kids" (who are all young adults) will continue to do the things they are doing.  We are pleased that they all have special relationships with God and with others. They are all active in their churches and all three of them are maintaining a home and working.  They all have an understanding of our call to go to the Ends of the Earth and they have a special place in their hearts reserved for the people of Thailand.  A people who helped to form them into the individuals they have grown to be.

Is it easy to leave them here?  NO!   We praise God for the many means of easy communication we have today.  Our biggest obstacle will be the time difference which is 12-15 hours.

In Isaiah 54, God promises the Jewish people that even though He had turned His back on them for a time He will bless them - that His kindness is everlasting and that His covenant of peace would not be removed - a portion of that blessing is verse 13, "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children."  This is the promise I continue to claim for my children - that they will continue to have open hearts to learn from the Lord and His peace will be over them forever.

May your Good Friday be meaningful and thoughtful:
"Now it was about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour.  Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was torn in two.  And when Jesus had cried out with a loud voice, He said, Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.  Having said this, He breathed His last."  Luke 23:44-46

In the beginning...

For Rob and I, in the beginning, refers to an introduction of Rob to me by my then boyfriend, Eldon. A friendship develops...an old relationship dissolves...and in a matter of months an assurance in my very being that Rob is the one for me! (You will have to use your imagination if you want more details related to the ...'s) We marry in 1980 -and from then on God has on a roller coaster consisting of youth ministry, pastoring, church planting, seminary, 3 kids and then before we know it God literally shocks us when He says "If you give yourself to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday. The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose waters never run dry." Isaiah 58:10-11.

International Missions! All I knew was that missionaries feed people who live in hot dry places! That day the Lord said to me, "Lori, if you are obedient and you go I will make your light to shine in the darkness and your life will be a well watered garden - your springs will NEVER run dry." We surely desired God's blessing so Rob and I said - YES!

That was 1992. We packed up and moved to Thailand with our 3 children; Bethany - 8, Jared - 6 and Anna - 2. In 1997, we returned to the States with sadness in our hearts and a humble prayer that if the Lord would allow us to return again some day - we would be willing to go. So...after more pastoring, church planting and amazing opportunities to work with ethnic churches, God has said GO! We are blessed!

2012...